My husband, eight 12 months outdated son and I reside in a metropolis that has change into a Covid-19 hotspot. From the very starting of the pandemic, even when there have been few infections in our space, my son was afraid of the virus. He is a little bit withdrawn (though joyful to play Zoom with associates) and worries that precautions like masks and distancing aren’t sufficient to maintain us secure. Drawback: my husband has simply examined constructive for the virus however has no signs; my son and I examined detrimental. Ought to we inform our son reality or fiction and inform our son that his father is on his technique to work whereas he’s in quarantine at his dad and mom’ home?
Nameless
Do not misinform your son. I am attempting to alleviate him of his anxiousness, however he sounds already frightened and delicate to the risks of the virus. He is most likely skeptical in regards to the two-week enterprise journey through the pandemic. (He is a child, not an fool.) And if he finds out that he cannot belief you, he could change into much more harmful.
Take this chance to discover his emotions. Assist your son discover phrases to precise his fears. And don’t rush to calm him down. To ask questions. Let him get all of it out! Then reaffirm his concern, inform him that your prime precedence is to maintain him wholesome and collectively make a security plan. Be affected person if it is advisable repeat this train.
In the case of your son’s account of his father, follow details and cheap optimism. “Daddy has the virus, however he feels nice. He’ll keep in his room (or at his grandmother’s) for 2 weeks, and we cannot go there to ensure he will get higher and we do not get sick. ” If your son needs more confidence, let him talk to his pediatrician or therapist. And make sure he sees his dad as much as he wants on Zoom.
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Oh Daddy’s Magazines …
When my mother died, she divided her property equally between me and my brother. She specifically assigned valuables, but did not mention my father’s diaries. (He died 25 years ago.) I took them with me before I sold my share of the house to my brother. They convey how worried and depressed he was. My brother asked to see them, but I don’t want to pass them on. My brother has struggled with depression, and I am afraid of his reaction to them. He’s also disorganized. His house is destroyed and he often forgets to pay the bills. I would be crushed if the magazines disappeared. What should I do?
SISTER
I applaud your protective instinct, but not your steward. You and your brother probably share the ownership of the magazines. So, he has every right to view them. People with depression usually go beyond hilarious reading materials. A better understanding of your family history of mental illness may even be beneficial to your brother.
Warn him that the magazines are upsetting and reflect your father’s anxiety and depression. It is your brother’s call to read them. And his lousy housekeeping and possibly poor credit score don’t give you much credit here. Just ask him to be careful with the magazines.
Okay boomers
I recently graduated from college. I live with my parents and work from home. I decided to return to New York, where I went to school, because I crave independence and rents are relatively cheap. But now, when I ask my parents to wear masks in stores or not invite friends into their home, they say: “You’re the one to speak!” because I’m moving to a supposedly dangerous city instead of staying with them. Do they make sense?
KYELEE
Not. If your parents refuse to wear masks in public and invite friends into their homes during the outbreak of the pandemic, I suspect that you might be better off in an apartment where all occupants observe reasonable precautions – indoors and outdoors.
Moreover, using New York, which maintains a low infection rate, as a boogieman to rationalize his reckless behavior is a terrible argument. Patiently remind them of masks, social distancing, and handwashing. Then pack your things and move!
Simply associates
I am 70 years old. I date men when I can find someone who works, which is not often. Therefore, female friends are important to me. But I never get enough of them. When I meet an interesting woman and invite her to do something, I would like to clarify that I am looking for friendship, not romance. Would that be weird?
SM
Very strange! In a few lines, you suggest that women friends be consolation prizes for not having a man in your life. (In my experience, this is not true!) I hope that the reason you need more friends is not that you throw away those you have as soon as the person knocks.
And pre-empting that you’re looking for friendship, not sex, when you first invite a relative out for lunch or a walk in the park can be awkward and repulsive, not to mention homophobic. Do not do this. Just let your friendly invitation speak for itself.
To get assist together with your awkward state of affairs, please ship a query to SocialQ@nytimes.com, Philip Galanes on Fb, or @SocialQPhilip on Twitter.